Butternut bisque

1 butternut squash
1 shallot
4 cloves from a head of garlic
1 tsp ground ginger
Olive oil (to coat mixture)
1 quart chicken stock (I freeze what is left over from a slow-cooker-made whole chicken)

Heat slow-cooker & add the chicken stock, cover. High 4 hours, low all day :)
Preheat over to 375°
Peel skin from squash, cut length-wise, take out seeds, & chop up
Slice shallot, or you can substitute an onion, in a pinch!
Slice up the garlic
Add all to a bag, dump in the ginger, and drizzle some EVOO. Shake vigourously, then place contents into a baking dish.

Roast at 375° for half an hour, if in a hurry, or 1 hour, if possible.

Take roasted contents, and add to slow cooker.
When you’re ready to eat, take it out and puree in parts, depending on the size of processor, but keep mixture & liquid fairly even.

Diva liked it served with some green peas & applesauce.  Hubs, me, & Boo (7 years) added just a bit of salt. Fabulous!!!

And I did all prep, got ready for the gym, and packed diaper bag within half an hour!  I may add more veggies to it next time. Will let ya know.

Just bitching now.

And I need my roots done and cleaning with some alcohol based cleaner screwed up my nails!!! So now not only do I have to find time for my hair, now my damn nails, too! Somebitch! I need a Kloni & vodka!

Pesto pasta

For a quick and easy side dish, toss a tablespoon (or so) of pesto in with 8oz cooked pasta.  Super yummy!

Too much

Ever have too much going on? Yeah, everybody does.  I am seriously over my own head, this time. Multiple birthday functions, over-due visits with relatives, including my grandmother with alzheimer’s, two baby showers, a fundraiser for the elementary school, plus a class party that I ridiculously signed up for helping with both, as well as making decorations for both, not to mention Valentine’s day, Superbowl, and, the family dog shit his last carpet!  Anyone want a lab-corgi mix before I take to the SPCA?  I love him, but he needs attention, and is seriously miserable here.  Truly, the most humane thing is to give him to a good family.  Oh, and did I mention I started working out with a personal trainer? Like I have an hour to workout, an hour to relax &shower, then an hour round-trip commute because I live in BFE!!!! I have seriously lost my f-ing mind!! 

Slow cooker recipes. Explicit verbiage.

I got through 79 pages of a slow cooker recipe magazine before the desire to hunt down the fucktard who put this shit into publication for the sole purpose of shoving it up HIS ass sideways.  It has to be a man, as no real woman would try to hustle people into believing they are a master chef by using a fucking slow cooker.  If it has a french name, you cannot honestly prepare it in a mutherfucking crockpot, you fucking tools!!! OMG. I feel like going Sam Kennison here!

The slow cooker is not just for rednecks making their jelly & chilli meatballs, and men making rotel dip for game day.  The slow cooker is ideal for a stay-at-home moms who have an active 8 month-old, more specifically, for this mom who must provide non-stop attention to her demanding diva.  If I made a meal I am accustomed to making, that would require hours of prep & cook time.

Thus, the intention of this slow cooker is to prepare quick-prep, healthy, & delicious meals for my family, in the few minutes I am not held captive by Diva.  That is her name going forward. Not bug, shuggie, etc., no, it is Diva, the anti-honey-boo-boo.  I swear, I cannot be the last sane person on this planet who uses the crockpot for actual daily meals.  I make beans (buy them dry), chicken, roast, and occassionally, a breakfast casserole, if I will be feeding a bunch of people early – because my ass doesn’t do early!

So, now that I am sufficiently pissed, I will be coming up with some realistic slow-cooker recipes for people who have an actual fucking life, but alxo enjoy a good meal.

Peace, ya’ll.

Miracle drug

I had no idea that Vodka was so miraculous. All these years I had just used it to get a buzz, or drunk.  However, kids screaming, OCD meds just not cutting it, sick family members, NSF charges. . .  and man, slamming back a few gulps from the bottle, really took the edge off and I was actually able to enjoy my wine and my family.wow. who knew? I will be investing in a 2nd fridge for my medicine supply, as it now comes in numerous flavors. Life in 2013 is going to be good, I can just tell.

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