Mother. . . less goat hearders!!

It is 2:15, & I calculate about another hour or two and I can sleep! I made candy-coated popcorn for Boo’s class party, and froze the centers of my naughty chocolates.  Before you worry, yes, I’ll post the recipes.  100-proof is involved, so you KNOW it will be good!  Doing laundry cuz I haven’t in a week.  Confession is less than 24 hours & I haven’t been since last Easter, wonder how many Hail Mary’s I’ll get?? Should I just go balls-out & bring some of my naughty chocolates in hopes of bribing the priest?

Yes, I’m probably going to hell unless God has an amazing sense of humor.  I wish Macy’s was like Walmart; open 24/7.  If so, I’d just buy my hubs an outfit for tomorrow.

Damn, I am tired! I lost my Klonipin yesterday after I finally got home from the grocery store after an hour being there without getting anything on my list.  I hate it when that happens, however, this time was totally NOT my doing!  My friggin Jag overheated, yes, in the f-ing parking lot.  I called roadside assistance (on my speed dial, well, it is a Jag, even if it is new), my service rep, then feasted with my kids on sugar until the tow truck & my loaner arrived.  My son asked, “Mommy, can we go to Jag so I can get candy?”

“Boy, I just bought you candy & soda in the store since we’re stuck here! Besides, they are being nice to bring the loaner to us so we don’t have to go in.”. He, all of seven, believes the dealership is afraid of me after my last tantrum.  I believe they are simply going out of their way for the wife of a valued, repeat customer, who happens to not give a fat damn, but rather let the shit from the fan land where it may, who cares if a little splatter catches up to me, I’m still flinging more than I am catching.

Naughty chocolates are finished, and last load in the dryer. I hate this dryer, as it requires two dry cycles, no matter how small the load. One more monkey spank hour till I can sleep.

Extra fabulous

So, it was picture day, and I dressed my son for the first time in almost two years.  Boy, was he pissed! He was in steamed khakis & a khaki with navy sweater, and looked so smart.  I even spiked his hair. He looked so sharp! Again, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch for the longest 4 miles of my life.  It came out that he was worried kids would make fun of him.  So, I said, he should look at them and say, “you’re wearing that, and you’re making fun of me? Have you looked in the mirror? Seriously, I make this look good!”. He was silent.  As I came to a stop, I see him shaking his head in a disgusted disbelief.  I asked what?!

“Momma, I love you, but sometimes you are. . . A little extra fabulous. I’ll just punch somebody if they hurt my feelings.”

Extra fabulous. Well damn yes, I am! Although, I think your dad says “over-the-top”. Don’t be a hater, baby. I love you & you look smoking hot!


So ashamed!

Crowdstar games are my secret addiction.  I know, they are geared to tweens, but I friggin love playing dress up! I can’t wait to start taking diva to the spa with me!!! For now, she’s just my dress up baby doll. I love pink sooo much, and her crystal blue eyes shine so brightly in pink! Uuugh. Gotta tackle laundry, this house, get Boo from my parents’, then start making candied popcorn for my son’s class party.


When you buy some friggin’ “Ripe Now” labeled avocados from Target, put them in a brown paper sack for three days, then when I pull them out to make guacamole, and the somebitches are about 2 WEEKS from being ripe!! I want the douche bag in charge of putting those stickers on the fruit! I want free guacamole for a year. False friggin advertisement!!! Gonna call a lawyer for personal injury!! Yes, it appears it may be time for another Klonipin. I hope the commercials today are stellar! Superbowl.  At least the buffalo wing dip I made was awesome! Go 49-ers!

Southern Hot Mess


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