I am a creature of habit. I am addicted to planning. When things do not go the way I expect, then all hell breaks loose in my mind, & I am unable to handle it. I mentally and physically can not wrap my head around it. The joy of OCD & ADHD.
This can result in the form of outbursts, tantrums, meltdowns, or break-downs. My son and our dog also appear to be like creatures.
Dunkin Donuts has the worst coffee on the planet. And, if you ask for half-dozen glaced & half dozen chocolate . . . They give you chocolate cake donuts. I’m sorry. I’m a 5th gen Texan. If we want a cake, we just make a damn cake. We don’t need one in the shape of a fucking donut!!! Also, my husband’s grandfather came to this country from what is now called generically Slovakia, & if you think a mini-sausage in a biscuit dough is a Kolache, you are misinformed. A Kolache is like a danish-like pastry, but with a sweet filling, like poppy seed & honey, fruit preserves, or cream cheese.
Yet another bastardized food menu item. Why do Americans do that? We find a cool word & use it, not knowing wtf it is? And who the fuck ASSUMES ppl actually WANT a cake donut?? I have hated Dunkin Donuts since I was 7 because of cake donuts!! I mistakenly asked my late grandfather, Bill, for a chocolate donut, not knowing what I meant, he got me a dunkin donuts chocolate (cake) donut. Now, after my son was so disappointed he didn’t get a chocolate-glazed donut he cried. I know that feeling. I hate that feeling. You have your mouth set on one thing, & you are given something completely wrong. I hate Dunkin Donuts. And even more now cuz he had to go thru that same experience. Plus – I think day-old burned-gas-station coffee tastes better than theirs.
Starbuck’s may be owned & run by a bunch of tree-hugging, pansy-ass, hipsters . . . But they can make a fucking coffee taste so good that for half an hour, you feel better about mankind.
And what is it about little boys & leaves??? I beg my son not to play in them, for fear of a tree asp or spider biting him, yet he always does. This morning, instead of paying attention to the placement of my fingers as I closed the heavy, metal door, I was telling him to stop, just as the door slammed on my finger, breaking it at the tip. It has throbbed an hour & a half now. I hate hearing a bone crunching sound coming from my own body. Now I gotta back out my car from the garage, dig for the extention cord, get the leaf blower out & blow every motherfucking leaf in this complex off the trees from the driveways, & into the pool!
If I survive living here it will be an act of God. I’m beginning to think He hates me. I mean seriously. My greatest joy, I have to share with my ex. When I do have him, I’m not able to spend time playing with him . . . I just want to run away. What would happen if I called in sick? Sometimes I am afraid he & Diva would be better off without me, but I am too selfish! I would die without them. I really couldn’t live without them. I would die of a broken heart. Perhaps God just enjoys watching me suffer & struggle? Family members with Cancer, grandmother has Alzheimer’s & doesn’t even know who the fuck she is . . .
Have you ever loved someone so much you would do anything to make them happy?
And realize you can’t do anything TO make them happy?? I just want my son to be a happy 8-yr old boy. I want him to grow into a good man.
I want Cancer obliterated. I want a cure for Alzheimer’s Disease, & all neurological & spectrum disorders. And . . . An end to hunger & homelessness, & all of our troops back home!!
Diva already loves having polished finger & toe nails & her favorite color is – pink!! I just want her to start speaking English already! And behave.
And both children to miraculously do what is asked. The 1st time it is asked. I just want a happy family. Where we are all well & functioning. I realize now that is impossible, yet I continue trying. I’m not sure if that defines insanity, or tenacity. However, am leaning towards insanity.
Damn, my finger hurts!! I’m gonna go clean the house with my broke-ass middle finger while Diva & hubs take a nap.
Pray they sleep till 3.