Ok. So I took Jag #1 in for the botched paint repair. Just to compare (seriously?!) I decided to look at the rear legroom of the XJ. I’ve had so much drama from our 2 XF’s, I am done with Jags for a while. Not to mention service, maintenance . . . Tires are $2k. Brakes are $1500. Money, money, money, money . . . I’d rather go on trips than maintain these Jags. Not to mention one is in the shop every fucking month! A Dodge minivan is way more sensible & practical. More reliable, way less on up-keep, & the cost goes without even saying, plus plenty of space, tvs, input & output jacks, blue ray players, etc… And draws much less attention, thus decreasing my chances of being car-jacked or mugged. But Hubs was “just looking” at the XJL over the weekend. Which I promptly shut down that idea. But, to be fair, since I was going to the dealersip anyway . . . I might as well take a look. To be fair, of coarse. I’m not impressed with the new XF at all!
So, my loaner today was a fully loaded XJ. Massive engine. Massive! But after strapping-in Diva, whose feet were a good 2 feet from my seat, I had the strange sensation of faint kicking, but it was impossible, & why did it feel good, & all up & down my back? Ahh hell no!! This mother fucker had massaging front seats. Heated & ventalated front AND rear seats. Oh hell. Did I mention the massive engine? I didn’t even mind the Eco-mode. Fuck me! 4 people cut me off in the 8-mile journey home. AND I COULDN’T CARE LESS!! I was getting my massage on. This is how happy begins.
This is how it is done. The car is enourmous on the inside, and handles like a dream. 4 vanity mirrors, quad climate controls, & dual sun roofs. In all honesty, it really had a lot more power & torque than I am used to, but believe me, I could totally get used to it, with very, very little coaxing.
And, with our climate here in Texas changing over the next hundred years, mainly getting more windy, is a high-profile vehicle really smart? Add to that there are tons of minivan rollovers, & only one XJ that spontaneously burst into flames (Dick Van Dyke’s) . . . And I’m sure that was a fluke.
Oh hell, Bob may be the devil for putting me in this car. Uuugh. It’s like the heart patient who continues to smoke after open-heart surgery. Driving a Jag, well, THIS Jag, just feels so fucking good. Like sex with a super model.
Which is an excellent analogy. Sex is great. What about three months down the road? Can you trust that?
Don’t get me wrong. If you got the money, Jaguar XJ is the ultimate. I am completely convinced. This redefines luxury & power. It is an orgasm on 4 wheels. No doubt. But, like a gold-diggin’, high-maintenance beauty, she may leave you high & dry in a tight spot, & she’s gonna cost your ass plenty up front, & most likely for the duration of the relationship, but what you gotta ask yourself is this: Is it worth it? What’s it worth to you? Luxury & performance. Like chocolate & caramel! It does not get much better, if even possible. And for it’s class, it has an outstanding warranty & less expensive up-keep than Nazi-mobiles or Masserati, not to mention 24/7 roadside assistance w/ Jaguar’s unmatched customer service – Park Place Jaguar wins prizes every year for best in class & exceeding customer expectationd, with numerous JD Power awards.
I know one thing for damn sure – I will be thinking long & hard before we make our next vehicle purchase in a few mpnths. Cuz damn. Just damn. DAMN!
The Jaguar XJ is one bad motherfucker!! I have nothing bad to say about it, other than Jaguar’s notoriously, laughably horrible lack of dependability, which is a crap shoot with any car, really. Shit. I love this car. I cannot come up with one miserable thing to say about that car. Well, I guess that pisses me off. My back hurts. Perhaps I should take a drive . . .
Diva’s up & Boo is fighting a major headache. Gotta run.