Decadence personified

Ok. So I took Jag #1 in for the botched paint repair. Just to compare (seriously?!) I decided to look at the rear legroom of the XJ.  I’ve had so much drama from our 2 XF’s, I am done with Jags for a while. Not to mention service, maintenance . . . Tires are $2k. Brakes are $1500. Money, money, money, money . . . I’d rather go on trips than maintain these Jags. Not to mention one is in the shop every fucking month! A Dodge minivan is way more sensible & practical. More reliable, way less on up-keep, & the cost goes without even saying, plus plenty of space, tvs, input & output jacks, blue ray players, etc… And draws much less attention, thus decreasing my chances of being car-jacked or mugged. But Hubs was “just looking” at the XJL over the weekend. Which I promptly shut down that idea. But, to be fair, since I was going to the dealersip anyway . . . I might as well take a look. To be fair, of coarse. I’m not impressed with the new XF at all!

So, my loaner today was a fully loaded XJ. Massive engine. Massive! But after strapping-in Diva, whose feet were a good 2 feet from my seat, I had the strange sensation of faint kicking, but it was impossible, & why did it feel good, & all up & down my back? Ahh hell no!! This mother fucker had massaging front seats. Heated & ventalated front AND rear seats. Oh hell. Did I mention the massive engine? I didn’t even mind the Eco-mode. Fuck me! 4 people cut me off in the 8-mile journey home. AND I COULDN’T CARE LESS!! I was getting my massage on. This is how happy begins.

This is how it is done. The car is enourmous on the inside, and handles like a dream.  4 vanity mirrors, quad climate controls, & dual sun roofs. In all honesty, it really had a lot more power & torque than I am used to, but believe me, I could totally get used to it, with very, very little coaxing.

And, with our climate here in Texas changing over the next hundred years, mainly getting more windy, is a high-profile vehicle really smart?  Add to that there are tons of minivan rollovers, & only one XJ that spontaneously burst into flames (Dick Van Dyke’s) . . . And I’m sure that was a fluke.

Oh hell, Bob may be the devil for putting me in this car. Uuugh. It’s like the heart patient who continues to smoke after open-heart surgery.  Driving a Jag, well, THIS Jag, just feels so fucking good. Like sex with a super model.

Which is an excellent analogy. Sex is great. What about three months down the road? Can you trust that?

Don’t get me wrong. If you got the money, Jaguar XJ is the ultimate. I am completely convinced. This redefines luxury & power. It is an orgasm on 4 wheels. No doubt.  But, like a gold-diggin’, high-maintenance beauty, she may leave you high & dry in a tight spot, & she’s gonna cost your ass plenty up front, & most likely for the duration of the relationship, but what you gotta ask yourself is this: Is it worth it? What’s it worth to you? Luxury & performance. Like chocolate & caramel! It does not get much better, if even possible. And for it’s class, it has an outstanding warranty & less expensive up-keep than Nazi-mobiles or Masserati, not to mention 24/7 roadside assistance w/ Jaguar’s unmatched customer service – Park Place Jaguar wins prizes every year for best in class & exceeding customer expectationd, with numerous JD Power awards.

I know one thing for damn sure – I will be thinking long & hard before we make our next vehicle purchase in a few mpnths. Cuz damn.  Just damn. DAMN! 

The Jaguar XJ is one bad motherfucker!! I have nothing bad to say about it, other than Jaguar’s notoriously, laughably horrible lack of dependability, which is a crap shoot with any car, really. Shit. I love this car. I cannot come up with one miserable thing to say about that car. Well, I guess that pisses me off. My back hurts. Perhaps I should take a drive . . .

Diva’s up & Boo is fighting a major headache. Gotta run.

Peace, bitches

Guns

I feel like weighing in on gun control. Leave my 2nd Ammendment the fuck alone. Our military, police, & all criminals will have them. Has e eryone drank the damn cool aid? What the fuck? Why doesn’t the government want me armed? I’m not gonna kill anyone who doesn’t first threaten my life.  As the great-grandaughter of a Jew who converted to Christianity, his father & mother were forced to flee Switzerland, and before that, had left Germany to escape the Nazi’s, I have to seriously question any government willfully seeking to disarm law-abiding citizens. Anyone thay doesn’t is a fool & a sheep.

Any legitimate government welcomes questions & constituent input. Others are called tyrannies. It would be great if we didn’t have them, but if anyone has them, we should all have them.

Also, given the circumstance, I would be just as able to kill someone with a spoon, as long as the other person wasn’t carrying a gun. People kill people. And make no mistake – there are some twisted mother fuckers out there.

Shit! Diva just used Hub’s fablet as weapon. Looks like she broke his ear cartilage. Blood everywhere. Gotta run.

Peace, bitches. You don’t have to carry a gun, just don’t take mine, please.

Imminent Chaos

This is what happens when a West Plano Cub Scout Pack heads to Dallas.

So, the 23 mile drive to the Perot Museum went smoothly. Parking & construction (downtown) kinda freaked me out. I followed the sign that said “Perot Museum Parking.” A man turned me away, while people wearing Star’s jerseys were piling in???  He told me to circle the block, then go in the side street for museum parking. Okay. Did that. Saw an un-manned gate with a key pad. Turned around. Found a bicycle cop (thanks, man!!) Who told me I could park where the man had turned me away. Circled back, through hoards of green jerseys & construction, & demanded he let me park & get out of the car now.  A Den leader was a few cars behind me, & did the same thing. 

I walk up, & hear, “girl, we were yelling & waving at you to park over here for free.” Apparently, the keypad was also a CALLBOX, & they open it for visitors. SONOVABITCH!! Fuck it. I’m outta the car, Boo is happy, & only $8. Actually, it turned out to be free for Perot guests -win!

Let Boo loose & start to settle into the chaos. Look up, & Boo is soaked from the thighs down! Yup. My kid jumped into the stream. No change of clothes, either.  So we gather our group, & head in. My son is soaking wet. I have a partial head count, but a veteran mom has the full one. Ok. I am off the hook for the night.

Watch a 3-D movie & see some science experiments, then head to the first exhibit hall.

Hubs called. Diva is upset & crying for me. Stepped into hallway to video chat while Boo raced a dinosaur.  Got back to watch him run off with his friends. Den co-leader video’d his race, which he won, then he was off again. Three hours & 3 floors later, & I’d had it. We were locked in. Realized he couldn’t get loose, so eased up & let him play. He got lost once, but used his cell to call me, right as I found him.

One more floor & done. Woohoo!!

That one he actually wanted to spend some time with me. I felt like a princess. He walked me around & we talked. It was awesome. The best time ever. It felt like we were the only people there for about 10 minutes.

Then down 4 flights to get our bags.  Our boys had proven to be the . . . “Most active the museum had hosted.” That was polite for most rambunctious & out of control. We found out that one child broke lose & was caught on cameras wandering the exhibits alone & spotted on multiple floors. Yup. Same thing has happened before. Our Pack . . . We have a few “spirited” children.

We all head back to the 4th floor to pick our sleeping spots – in the dinosaur exhibit. The boys were elated.  Bedded down, plugged my phone into the charger Hubs packed for me, & handed Boo his tablet. He & his buddy played Minecraft for – oh hell, no telling how long – I woke to the pack leader (his dad) telling him to get in his sleeping bag & go to sleep.

Woke 7 hours later to bright lights turned on us. Boo was NOT happy & wanted the lights off & to continue sleeping.  That was a first! Pulled out our hoodies, & we were up. Me, in search of coffee.  And we had a win!  Fresh fruit, nasty spongy, tasteless muffins & apples & oranges. PASS!! Once my coffee was empty & Boo ate an apple, we were off to the gift shop in search of a mood ring like “everyone” is wearing.  Got it. Good. Now, tollway (via a fucked up nav system into a dead end), but I found my way out & headed to Jack in the box down the street from home.  We enjoyed the last little bit of time, just us, before home – where I had a bed calling my name.  2 hours later Hubs & Diva arrived. Diva was all smiles & hugs.

Been a rough, long day, but ended with Boo massaging my back & now a glass of wine before bed. But I had to let ya’ll know – I did it! Only one clonazapam, but that was yesterday morning, as my nerves were upsetting my stomach. But nothing else. Not one thing the entire time! I did great!!

OCD is a war, & we battle it every day. It is conquered not in a hospital or therapist’s office. It is overcome by taking baby steps. Everyday. Setting goals. Standing up to those irrational fears & saying, “I care, but not that much.” It’s about surrending the idea that we can & will control everything. It is about continuing to fight when your brain says it can’t. It’s about pushing through when you believe you can’t. Fear will NOT kill me. Fear can only suck my joy. And I’ve had enough! I want to enjoy my life. And, by God, I’m going to!

Venture down a strange street. Just have that cell phone charged & gas tank full. (And lock those doors-even during the day, & keep your mace handy)  Spontaneity is out of the question, but a little chaos now & then – and just go with it. Let it wash over you. What’s the worse that could happen? Stop! Think instead about what’s the BEST that could happen? You might have the best day ever.

Peace, bitches. Grab it & ride it like a Harley on a bad piece of road!!

***On a side note – shout out to Hubs!! He changed his 2nd poopy diaper all on his own, & this time he didn’t gag! Way to ga, babe!! Very proud of him!***

This is all I want.

image

I grabbed this from Facebook.  Sounds so simple? But for those of us with OCD & anxiety, this is a fairytale.

Just to be able to enjoy life – sounds like an unachievable dream. It is my goal. Some people want to lose 100 lbs., others to save money for a world tour, others struggle waiting tables in hopes of being discovered. I just want to ignore stress & anxiety so that I can enjoy all the happy.

It may be a long shot, but it is my goal. And I hope that all who struggle to quiet our brains can get that peace we all so richly deserve.

Peace, Bitches

And I will blog about the whole museum experience . . . Once I recover. It was an ass-whoopin’.

Vicodin is the devil!!

So, now, on top of the sprained trap, now I am itching like a fool! All I wanna do is fucking sleep!!! And get a good, pain-free, itch-free sleep.  Uuugh. Even my friggin’ ears itch. Man, this is a bitch. Every piece of skin on my body . . . Fucking itching!!

What’s worse-throbbing, shooting pain from your neck & shoulder, down your back & arm, OR a burning itch over your entire body?? Fuck it. No sleep tonight! Uuuugh!!

Wish I could beat the shit out of somebody. Side effect. Side. Effect. My ass! This is a “whole body” effect. Hell, even my ass itches. This sucks. Like a “blowout-on-the-side-of-the-road” kind of ‘sucks’.

However, if I scream, I wake Diva. And after 2 hours of tears & tantrums to get Boo to finish his homework, then half-hour of theatrics from Diva . . . Ah hell no! I ain’t waking her for shit. I will suffer quietly and avoid her wrath.

Tomorrow is gonna suck donkey balls. Just sayin’.

Peace, bitches.

Loving it all

So, I sprained my trap-muscle in my left shoulder. Doctor said from repeatedly lifting Diva. However, even vicodin ain’t helping the mind-numbing monotonous repetition of a Toddler’s movie choice. I said choice. Not plural. Just turned on Stuart Little for the 7th time in 2 days. I will spare you all, but just know, this movie does NOT get better the more you watch it.

Boo had his first field trip without either parent.  I was on eggshells until I saw him walking out from school this afternoon.  I was terrified. Yes, it was a whopping 4 miles away. No, the bus didn’t get on any highways. But still. It was an outdoor learning facility. A private facility only open to students in our school district, but still . . . The bus, pedophiles, wild creatures, & no parent to protect him.  “No siblings” meant no Mommy & Diva.

But, I let him go. I did it.
And he came back. Alive & in one piece. Unmolested by human or beast. Unharmed. And he had a great time. 

The Night at the Museum on Friday, however, I will be there! I am already panicing about driving and parking, getting car-jacked, or coming out Saturday morning to a stolen car.  Oh why???? Why can’t I just be normal & get excited? Why can’t I just enjoy the adventures of life? Uugg. 

We would all be going, except the Perot doesn’t allow children under 6 to the “snore & explore.”  They also don’t allow more than a sleeping bag & pillow. We were told to dress comfy, as we won’t be able to change.  Ok. This should be fun. And no sleeping pads. Because my back is in excellent condition.  It will be fun, tho, or so help me . . . And Saturday I can come home & . . . Play with Diva who will have thought I left her forever.  But Saturday night . . .

Relax. It will be okay. And we will all survive. I am really trying hard. At present, fighting the urge to smack Boo for refusing to do his homework.  Guess I get to perch by his desk till it is complete.  God give me strength.  I am tired of all the ordeals & just want to enjoy life.  There is way more than anxiety!! And is much better than stress, which is what I attribute to my shoulder spasms & neck pain. I WILL find a way to be loving it all. For now, it’s a struggle, but it is getting better.

Peace, ya’ll.

Seafood chowder

Trust me, this is good.

This is how I roll.

1/2 c milk
8 oz. Cream cheese
2 T minced garlic
Blend – DON’T BOIL!

Once all blended add the following:
6 Chopped green onions
1 c milk
2-3 diced potatoes
Cream mushroom soup
To your tastes:
Cayenne pepper
Black peppee
Sea salt
Parsley

Cook over medium, stirring occassionally, but don’t let boil, until potatoes are tender.

Add 24 oz. Bag of cooled & thawed seafood mix (shrimp, octopus, mussels, crab), & simmer about 10 minutes. 

I served with warm Red Lobster Cheddar Bay biscuts.

Enjoy, bitches & be creative!!

OK, who reposted my post???

I’ve Paid My Dues http://chzb.gr/1eu4YsB

And this is why I sold ours . . .

I Can’t MAKE Coffee Until I’ve HAD Coffee http://chzb.gr/OmRSIf

Check out this LOL

There’s Always the Next iPhone Revision http://chzb.gr/Ouljbq

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