Today was just a blur. After staying up until 3am watching Hulu with Hub, I slept-in until 9. We finally got out the door around 11, got to my parents’ house around noon, picked-up Boo, & headed to see my in-laws. Had lunch with them, & then WHAM!
Diva exploded like an unopened glass jar of applesauce thrown onto ceramic tile.
She refused to eat, made enormous messes, which I spent waaay more time cleaning than it took her to create (and repeatedly cleaned same messes over & over). Boo even helped tidy-up. She was a poltergeist. A naughty house elf. She was . . . TWO!! For the roughly four hours we were there, she was completely two.
My mother-in-law keeps an immaculate home. Gorgeous glass trinkets, expensive heirlooms, pretty little knickknacks in every nook & cranny. Carefully chosen & precisely placed throughout their house. Every detail painstakingly placed ‘just- so’. Just so damn enticing for a two-year-old. A lifetime’s memorabilia displayed under one roof. Diva’s objective: Destruction. Total destructio – of every possible item.
I think we were there under half an hour before Hub was curled up in the fetal position. We had no weapons, & were clearly under attack. It was . . . A lot of blank blank blankety blank blank blank! And that is for damn sure!
My blood pressure is still coming down, hours later. A few times I was struggling to catch my own breath. I was in dismay. Who the hell does this little terror think she is?!?! And since when does she pull this shit over at their house? She is so sweet normally. She was a little doll at my parents’ place just an hour earlier?!?!
NOT one weapon up our sleeve. We were ill-prepared for such an all-out affront to civility. She was like the Tazmanian Devil from Loony Tunes. No high chair to strap her down into. No crib to get her to sleep in. No ability to sit & hold het until she calmed down. If I tried to hold her, and whisper softly sweet pleas of mercy, she quietly took in a long, deep breath, then belted out earth-shaking billows. She could have woke the dead! So, today, well, it was a total loss. Fail. Epic. Parenting. Fail.
However, I got Boo. I got Diva. And I got Hub. We are all home. We are all safe. And 2 out of 4 are asleep, while Hub & I are set to drift off shortly. And the thought on my mind?? Wonder if my mother-in-law has figured out what that battery went to yet.
Diva knocked-over, threw, & took apart so many things today, it was really a blur. So, tonight, I will think of it no longer, & prepare to sleep until morning. And we are going to start tomorrow blank, a clean slate, & a positive mind-set.
Embrace the embarrassment. Enjoy the chaos. And get happy. Because at some point, I’ll look back & won’t remember today’s shenanigans. Only the love I get from looking in her eyes.